FOR THE PAST week, I've been asking everyone I meet the same question: what makes a restaurant romantic? Why do some restaurants fan the flames while others are just food and fun? As it turns out, dinner romance is a topic that everyone feels competent to weigh in on. The short answer is: a romantic restaurant is one that makes you feel special. Like you're in a little cocoon with space just for two.
In fact, food - the actual menu - is usually the last thing mentioned when it comes to romantic restaurants. People have to be prodded to remember what they ate. (Must be the fog of love.) Menu comes after the quality of service, the lighting, the color scheme, and the acoustics. "The food has to be good, of course," says diner Ellen Sullivan of Medford. "Bad or mediocre food can ruin the mood. But having a romantic dinner isn't about the food. It's a feeling that begins the minute you walk in the door - how you're greeted, where you're seated, the music, the lights, the service. You want the waiters to be nice to you, and give you a table with some privacy and protection from other diners. You want touches: candles and flowers. What you don't want is to be rushed out the door, ignored, or have to struggle to have a conversation over the noise."
Noise, by all accounts, is a big turn-off for a romantic evening. Jess Glidden, a 28-year-old architecture student from Somerville, loves dining out with her boyfriend but hates "the feeling of screaming to be heard when I'm out for a romantic dinner, one-on-one. I love Orinoco and Dalí, for example, because they're intimate and dark, very sensual, with low lights on the table, and they encourage you to sit close together and talk, and you can actually connect with each other." (Note to the owners of Teatro: nice place you've got there, but it was specifically mentioned, by a big handful of Boston diners young and old, as too noisy to be romantic.)
Visuals matter, too. The classic locations with terrific views - the top of the Prudential, overlooking Boston Harbor, on Boston Common, by the beach - all work well for romance. KO Prime, Excelsior, and Top of the Hub, for example, are home to scores of proposals every year. But dark, dimly lit, exotic spaces are romantic, too - hideaways where couples feel sexy, tucked away from the rest of the diners in private alcoves. For that vibe, try the casbah tables at Tangierino, the far wall at Grotto, a back table at Hamersley's, the Soirée Room at UpStairs on the Square, the window table at Salts, or the corner booth at Pigalle. For some people, romance is a steak house such as Ruth's Chris or Grill 23, but they suggest requesting a table that's intimate and away from the bar in advance. Just ask the managers; they know from experience which tables work best.
Some couples feel most romantic in classic, special-occasion dining rooms like Radius, Clio, or Aujourd'hui, where service is top-flight but whisper-quiet. "People want service that is attentive but doesn't come to your table every two minutes," says Excelsior chef Eric Brennan. "The pace of service matters - not waiting too long to deliver the drinks, the food, the check. But couples don't want you to interrupt the conversation, so servers have to pay close attention to the body language of the diners. It's just a matter of sensitivity."
What about the look of the place? Are there specific design "tricks" that architects and designers use when the owner wants a restaurant that's romantic versus bright and busy? Yes and no, says Sandra Fairbank of Cambridge, who's designed scores of restaurants, including Legal Sea Foods, OM, and Hamersley's. There isn't a standard color scheme, ceiling height, or room arrangement, but lighting is key. "It's very easy to over-light a restaurant - make it too bright," she explains. "You have to develop a lighting system that is never glary or fluorescent, with low lights and dimmers that the management can subtly adjust to suit the mood. Good lighting can create a sense of intimacy even in a large open space."
Finishes also matter, according to Fairbank. "A romantic space can be modern or classic," she says. "Minimalist and spare, or full of flourishes and flounces. Romantic doesn't have to mean traditional dark woods and fabrics made from velvet and flock - the traditional five-star hotel look. But fabrics should be sumptuous, in beautiful colors." High banquettes help, and so do mood setting touches, like candles and flowers on the table. But, Fairbank adds, "there's really no design answer. A romantic dinner isn't based on how a restaurant looks, but whether the experience feels special, different from your usual night out, like you are away for the night on a vacation for two."
And though the food and beverages might not be the final memory of a romantic evening, what you eat and drink can still be important. "The beverage part is simple," says Troquet owner and sommelier Chris Campbell. "Champagne: a flute to start off, another one to finish. Other than that, pick any wine you like. Champagne always gets things started on the right foot." UpStairs on the Square chef Steve Brand thinks romantic dishes should be sensuous, silky, and a little playful - "Like our mushroom soup that we serve like a cappuccino with a frappe on top and a biscotti on the side," he says. "When couples order it, sparks fly. But for a romantic meal, don't over-order. Busting your gut is not sexy."
Excelsior's Brennan suggests that a romantic menu should be several courses. "If you usually get three courses, go for four or five, in tasting portions," he says. "It makes you feel that you have all the time in the world." Brennan steers some couples away from heavy or creamy dishes that might make them too full to enjoy the after-dinner "events." "Go for caviar or oysters to set the tone, then a fish or a poultry, and for the entrée, I go for venison or lobster, then a light and airy dessert," he notes. "A romantic dinner for me is one that will give me protein and energy I might need for later in the evening."
A final tip from those in the know: if you're going to propose, do it during dessert. If you do it over aperitifs, no one will eat the meal. @
[Photo by Joel Veak]
