A wink and a smile

by Heather Bouzan, 02-11-2008

Whether we’re single or attached, no matter: we love a good flirt. The best are full of lash-fluttering and witty banter and devoid of any particular intentions (though we have been known to use our skills to mess with someone we know is a sleaze, just for the fun of it). If nothing else, a lighthearted flirting session leaves us with a boost of self-confidence and a smile we can’t shake. And since we just can’t stomach another February index of the city’s most eligible singles, we decided to round up of a few of our favorite local flirts instead. How many of them have unleashed their charms on you?

Nicole Kanner, director of restaurant strategy at Regan Communications
She throws around terms of endearment with a refreshing lack of restraint, and it never feels insincere. But you won’t catch Nicole Kanner noisily fawning over every group she encounters, as some publicists are wont to do. Instead, she has an infectious, endearing charm that instantaneously puts those around her at ease. Still, she doesn’t think of herself as a flirt. “I guess it’s the best kind, because I’m a naïve flirt,” she finally concedes. “I have no concept of what I’m doing; I’m just being myself.” Kanner considers talking to a stranger on a neighboring barstool “just being personable”; she chats with the simple intention of “meeting cool people”; and she loves being “cutesy” to drive the innately bad-tempered a little bit crazy. As for the true flirt test?

When she giggles, we can’t help but giggle, too.

Seth Selman, stylist at James Joseph Salon
The guy flirted his way into a VIP party at the Versace mansion in Miami — if that’s not legendary, we don’t know what is. For stylist Seth Selman, flirting is sometimes more about his fearless, eclectic sense of style than anything else. “Sometimes I don’t even have to say anything or do anything when I walk into a room to kind of flirt with the crowd,” he explains. Conversations will ensue about clothing items, like his new vintage blazer with tails, then progress naturally from there. Selman’s advice for aspiring flirts is not to try so hard. “Be yourself, and just try as best you can to present yourself in a confident manner,” he says. “And smile, smile, smile. What are you going to lose?” The bottom line is, Selman adores “any excuse to flirt with anybody — even if it’s just to get a rise out of someone. It’s fun.”

Sandy Hussain, freelance event planner for the Estate and student at Harvard University’s Graduate School of Design
Sandy Hussain is a flirt, and she owns it like no one else we’ve met. “I wasn’t surprised at all when you contacted me about [this],” she admits. In fact, when her friends were dealing with a wave of guy troubles a few years back, Hussain was the person they called on for some romance coaching. Her tips? “If someone initiates contact with you in a bar, you have to make the effort to actually show some interest in what they do,” she says. When it comes to her personal flirting style, Hussain considers herself an entertainer of sorts. “It’s not really a conscious effort, because it sort of comes naturally, but [I’m] definitely trying to always entertain people,” she explains. “Not getting up on stage and dancing and entertaining them that way — even though I do do that as well — but just in conversation.”

Jonathan Lev, president of J. Lev Inc.
Jonathan Lev’s job is to represent artists, record labels, managers, and radio stations as a lobbyist in the music industry, so career-wise, his gift of gab is absolutely essential. But in his personal life, he’s hesitant to accept the “flirt” label, although he admits that “people have said I’m fairly easy to talk to, that I’ll talk to anybody. My attitude is, if you’re out and about, what sense is there sitting in a corner?” He’s forever trying to uncover what’s interesting about a person (there’s always something, he stresses), and he’s a great listener. Lev’s the guy who often finds himself sitting at the bar when he eats out in order to interact with new people even more. But for him, it’s all just instinct. “The truth of the matter is, don’t you like just talking to people sometimes?”

Kelly Bongiovanni, server at Eastern Standard
How does Kelly Bongiovanni describe herself? Succinctly: “I’m very outgoing and boisterous and very blunt.” Yes, Bongiovanni is outspoken, and she can hold her own in any crowd, but she also possesses a disarming ability to make nearly everyone fall a little bit in like with her. Whether conversing with customers or close friends, she has a way of taking a genuine interest in what they have to say, a trait she likely gleaned from her upbringing. “Growing up in New Jersey,” she tells us, “it was a very open family. You learned to communicate and to care about people, and there are no secrets in our family.” At the same time, she never takes herself too seriously. When flirting, Bongiovanni advises, “Don’t be afraid to say something that you think is going to be awkward or make somebody else uncomfortable. Be comfortable in what you’re saying and who you are. At the end of it, at least you get a laugh out of it.”

Chris Haynes, owner of CBH Communications
If you know Chris Haynes, or if you’ve ever attended one of his parties — hell, if you’ve ever been in the same room with the publicist extraordinaire — you understand why we simply had to include him in this feature. Still, Haynes prefers the term “charming” to “flirt.” “I consider it interacting with anybody and everybody,” he says. “So if you describe that as flirting, then I flirt with everybody from garbage men to grandmothers. It’s just the way I am.” Haynes, who thinks Bill Clinton is “the ultimate flirt,” loves walking into a room knowing no one and walking out knowing everyone. But he says he’s careful never to flirt for professional ends — he considers that approach transparent, fake, and insincere. Instead, his flirtee of choice is the person who’d never expect it. “I mean, what’s the fun flirting with someone who looks like Jessica Alba?” he notes. “Although I know I could win her over.” We couldn’t agree more.

Renatta Hosein, model for Maggie, Inc. and assistant women’s buyer/merchandising at Karmaloop
Local fashionista Renatta Hosein doesn’t always realize she’s being flirty — though her friends sure do. Even her boyfriend (whom she thinks is quite the charmer himself) has been known to call her out on her coquettish ways. But Hosein insists that she just loves talking with new people, especially those with experiences different than her own. When she’s consciously trying to turn on the charm, however, she relies on her sense of humor. “I’m definitely always trying to make people laugh and get them to talk about themselves,” she says. “And if they don’t want to talk about themselves, I’ll talk about myself and tell them everything they need to know.” Hosein also loves working behind the scenes, playing matchmaker for her single friends. No success stories yet, but if she shares some of her flirting expertise, it’s only a matter of time.

Eric Santiago, managing partner at Cafeteria
Flirting, schmoozing, and mingling were integral to the now-defunct Armani Café. Now its former general manager, Eric Santiago, has brought the same mentality to his new Newbury Street venture, Cafeteria. In fact, it’s Santiago’s affinity for the restaurant business that brought out his inner flirt in the first place. “I really enjoy taking care of people and making sure that everyone who needs something can come to me, that I can be the guy who everyone knows,” he confesses. Santiago describes his flirting style as “subtle”; we agree that it’s all in the details: an extra acknowledgement, a coy hello. But he urges those seeking guidance in the flirting department not to go it alone: “Get a little dog like I have,” he suggests. “I walk my little Boston terrier down Newbury Street all the time. Works like a charm.” @

[Photos by Eric Levin]