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Wed Case

Wed Case

by Jeannie Greeley, 07-10-2008

Gay nuptials are a wonderful step forward. So why do they make me a little melancholy? “How old are you again?” my father asks, surveying the black-and-blue arms and legs that I’m proudly showcasing. “Dad, I’m gay!” I remind him. “I’m allowed to live...
Mirror, mirror on the wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall

by Jeannie Greeley, 06-23-2008

When it comes to beauty, why must women compete? I have just returned from what is perhaps the sexiest event on the planet: the Cannes Film Festival, otherwise known as 10 days of aesthetic excess that makes Old Hollywood seem new again. It’s a worldwide...
Disappearing Acts

Disappearing Acts

by Jeannie Greeley, 06-13-2008

Why is it so hard for people to have a relationship and a social life? My friend asked for an annoying favor the other day. She wanted to know if I would take out the one other lesbian she knows, because the woman is going through a bad breakup and has...
In the sack: letters from readers

In the sack: letters from readers

by Jeannie Greeley, 05-30-2008

Lately, I’ve been receiving a lot of emails about things like medical conditions and relationship struggles. I am not a doctor, a therapist, or a “sexpert,” though I could probably use the services of all three. But I will do something rare in this month...
Friends with no benefits: why do I need my exes to like me?

Friends with no benefits: why do I need my exes to like me?

by Jeannie Greeley, 05-19-2008

A few weeks ago, I got a scathing phone call from an ex. My offense this time? I wasn’t around to rub lotion on her back. “You are never there when I need you!” she howled. From lube to Lubriderm in such a short time, with so many feelings crushed along...
Straight Shot: On exploring the opposite gender

Straight Shot: On exploring the opposite gender

by Jeannie Greeley, 02-06-2008

THE FIRST thing that alarms me is the facial hair, dragging across my chin like an enraged porcupine. Then I feel large, rough hands cupped around my face. Then the musky aroma creeps up and stings my nose. Holy absence of labia minora! I'm with a...
In the Sack: Negative Nancy, small demands, dysfunctional designer, and more

In the Sack: Negative Nancy, small demands, dysfunctional designer, and more

by Jeannie Greeley, 10-03-2007

DESPERATE GAYS. Angry gays. Latent gays. They all came out of the woodwork this month looking for a healthy dose of therapeutic advice. Who am I not to deliver? As always, letters have been edited for brevity and clarity, but not for sensitivity. As a...
Rotten Eggs: Pondering procreation

Rotten Eggs: Pondering procreation

by Jeannie Greeley, 09-19-2007

I USE THREE forms of birth control: my sister's children, homosexuality, and my other sister's children. To date, all have worked perfectly fine. (And though I'd love to rankle the Catholic church, I'm not sure I'm the candidate they...
Grin and bear it: a wildlife adventure

Grin and bear it: a wildlife adventure

by Jeannie Greeley, 08-10-2007

THIS 6’ 9”, 400-pound man starts lifting his massive, furry body out of the oceanside pool. The heather-gray briefs he’s using as a makeshift bikini suction to his comparatively tiny ass. “No laughing!” he shouts to me and my two skinny pals, watching...

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